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02/10/2025
Have you ever noticed how different parts of yourself seem to emerge in different situations? One moment you might feel calm and confident, and the next, an anxious or self-critical voice takes over. This experience is not only common but also central to Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful therapeutic model that offers a new way to understand and heal these inner parts of ourselves.
IFS, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, views the mind as a system of distinct "parts," each with its own feelings, roles, and beliefs. Rather than being a sign of conflict or dysfunction, these parts are natural and often protective. The goal of IFS is not to get rid of any part but to listen to and heal the wounded parts while restoring balance and harmony within the internal system.
We Are Made Up of Multiple Parts
According to IFS, we all have an internal family of parts. These parts often have distinct roles:
Protective parts: They act as guards, trying to prevent us from feeling pain or vulnerability. For example, a part might become critical to push you toward perfection, protecting you from failure or rejection.
Wounded parts (exiles): These parts carry the pain of past experiences—grief, shame, fear, or trauma. Protectors work hard to keep these exiled parts from overwhelming us.
Managers and Firefighters: Managers are proactive, keeping us in control to avoid triggering painful emotions, while Firefighters react quickly and impulsively to put out emotional fires—sometimes through behaviors like substance use, emotional eating, or withdrawal.
The Self as the Leader
At the center of the IFS model is the belief that we all have a Self, which is calm, compassionate, and curious. The Self is the part of us that can observe and listen to the other parts without judgment. When we connect with this core Self, we can heal our wounded parts and restore harmony to our internal system.
Healing Through Relationship
IFS therapy involves creating a relationship between the Self and each part. The process is one of deep listening and compassion. By getting curious about our protective parts—rather than trying to suppress or fight them—we discover what they’re trying to protect us from and can help them release their burden. This, in turn, allows the exiled parts to be seen and healed.
An IFS session often feels more like an inner dialogue than a traditional conversation. The therapist guides you to focus inward and notice what part of you is most present. For example:
"I feel an anxious part right now."
The therapist might ask: "Can you get curious about that anxious part? What does it want you to know?"
From there, the process unfolds as you build a relationship with that part. You might discover that it’s been trying to protect you from a memory of rejection or failure. Once that part feels seen and understood, it often softens, allowing space for healing.
IFS is particularly effective because it helps us move beyond judgment and self-criticism, replacing those reactions with compassion and curiosity. It is widely used to treat trauma, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and relationship challenges. By addressing the root causes—often the pain carried by our exiled parts—it allows for lasting transformation rather than temporary relief.
It’s also highly empowering. IFS teaches you to become your own healer, showing you that you have the resources and wisdom within to lead your internal system toward healing and balance.
IFS is not only a standalone therapeutic approach but also a powerful tool for integration, especially after plant medicine experiences. Plant medicine journeys often bring parts of ourselves to the surface—old wounds, protectors, and exiles seeking release. IFS provides a safe and structured way to work with these parts, helping us make sense of the insights and emotions that arise.
In essence, IFS is a journey toward inner harmony. It helps us move from being at war with ourselves to creating a loving and compassionate inner relationship. Each part of us, no matter how challenging, plays a vital role in our lives. When we can meet these parts with curiosity and compassion, true healing becomes possible.
If you're curious about exploring IFS in your own life, reach out to learn more about how this approach can help you connect with your core Self and experience greater inner peace.
Would you like this in a more conversational tone, or would you prefer a deeper dive into one of the specific aspects, like protectors or exiles?
12/15/2024
Trauma is a word we often hear, but its true impact is much deeper and more complex than many realize. It’s not just about experiencing a distressing event; it’s about how our minds and bodies process and store those experiences. Trauma can change the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us. It affects our nervous systems, our sense of safety, and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical symptoms that make daily life challenging.
What is Trauma?
Trauma isn’t defined solely by the event itself but by how it is experienced and the lasting impact it has on an individual. It could be a single incident, such as an accident or assault, or it could be ongoing, like childhood neglect, emotional abuse, or living in a chronically stressful environment. Even events that may not seem traumatic to one person can be deeply distressing to another, depending on their personal history, support system, and resilience.
Little “t” Trauma vs. Big “T” Trauma
It’s helpful to understand the distinction between little “t” trauma and Big “T” trauma. Both types impact the nervous system, but they do so in different ways.
Big “T” Trauma** refers to significant, often life-threatening events such as natural disasters, physical or sexual assault, severe accidents, or wartime experiences. These events are typically what people think of when they hear the word “trauma.” They often result in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and can overwhelm the brain and body’s ability to cope, leading to symptoms like flashbacks, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing.
Little “t” Trauma**, on the other hand, involves less obvious but still distressing events, such as ongoing emotional abuse, bullying, chronic stress at work, or the death of a pet. While these experiences might not be as visibly catastrophic, they can have a profound impact, especially when they accumulate over time. Little “t” traumas can erode self-esteem, create chronic anxiety, and lead to patterns of behavior that can be difficult to change without support.
How Trauma Affects the Nervous System
Regardless of whether a person experiences Big “T” or little “t” trauma, the nervous system can become dysregulated. When faced with a perceived threat, the body activates its “fight, flight, or freeze” response. This is a natural survival mechanism that prepares us to deal with danger. However, if the traumatic experience is not processed, the body may remain in this heightened state of arousal, even when the immediate threat has passed.
For Big “T” Trauma:** The body can become stuck in a state of hyperarousal, where it is always on high alert, or hypoarousal, where the person feels disconnected, numb, or unable to engage with the world. This can lead to a range of symptoms including panic attacks, chronic anxiety, dissociation, or depression.
For Little “t” Trauma:** The response might be less intense but still significantly disruptive. People may experience chronic stress, a constant sense of unease, difficulty concentrating, or a tendency to overreact to minor stressors. This is because the nervous system has become conditioned to expect danger, even in relatively safe situations.
The Body Remembers
Our bodies are designed to respond to danger, but trauma can cause these responses to get “stuck.” This is why many people who have experienced trauma find themselves feeling on edge, anxious, or emotionally numb long after the danger has passed. They might struggle with sleep, experience flashbacks, or feel disconnected from their bodies and emotions. This is because trauma is not just stored in the mind but also in the body. Understanding this mind-body connection is crucial in addressing trauma.
The Role of Therapy in Healing Trauma
Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing trauma because it provides a safe space for individuals to explore and process their experiences. There are various therapeutic approaches designed to help individuals heal from trauma, including:
1. Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT):** This approach helps individuals understand and change the thought patterns that contribute to their distress. It’s especially effective for children and adolescents who have experienced trauma.
2. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR):** EMDR helps people reprocess traumatic memories in a way that reduces their emotional intensity. This therapy uses guided eye movements to help the brain integrate traumatic memories and reduce their power.
3. Somatic Experiencing:** Since trauma affects both the mind and the body, somatic therapies focus on releasing the physical tension and stress stored in the body. This approach can be especially helpful for those who feel disconnected from their bodies or who experience physical symptoms of trauma, such as chronic pain or fatigue.
4. Internal Family Systems (IFS):** IFS helps individuals heal by identifying and addressing the different “parts” of themselves that hold pain and trauma. It encourages self-compassion and helps individuals understand the complex inner dynamics of their trauma responses.
5. Mindfulness and Meditation:** These practices can help individuals reconnect with their bodies and emotions in a gentle, non-judgmental way. They teach skills for staying present and reducing the grip of anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
Finding the Right Therapist
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma, finding a therapist who is trained in trauma-informed care is essential. A trauma-informed therapist will understand the complex ways that trauma affects the brain and body and will be equipped to create a safe, supportive environment for healing.
When searching for a therapist, it’s okay to ask about their experience with trauma and their therapeutic approach. The relationship between therapist and client is key to the healing process, so finding someone you feel comfortable with is vital!!
Healing is Possible
Healing from trauma is not a linear process; it takes time, patience, and often a combination of therapeutic approaches. But it’s important to remember that healing is possible. Therapy can provide a path to not only recover from trauma but to grow and thrive in new ways.
By understanding how trauma affects us and taking steps toward healing, we can reclaim our sense of safety, connection, and joy. If you’re ready to take the first step, reaching out to a therapist can be a powerful act of courage and self-care.
09/12/2024
In recent years, plant medicine ceremonies have become increasingly popular as more people seek deep healing, personal growth, and expanded states of consciousness. Practices involving substances like ayahuasca, psilocybin mushrooms, and other plant medicines offer profound experiences that can touch the core of our being. These experiences can reveal insights, awaken new perspectives, and provide a sense of connection to something greater than ourselves. However, without integration, even the most transformative journey can lose its potential to create lasting change.
Integration is the process of weaving the insights and experiences from a plant medicine journey into your daily life. It’s where the real work begins—grounding what was felt and learned into meaningful, sustainable transformation. While a ceremony might last a few hours or a night, the lessons it offers often take weeks, months, or even years to fully unfold. Integration helps ensure these lessons don’t remain fleeting moments but become embodied wisdom.
The altered states of consciousness that plant medicine can induce are often nonlinear, nonverbal, and deeply emotional. These states might touch unresolved trauma, unconscious patterns, or spiritual themes that can feel overwhelming if left unexplored after the ceremony. Integration provides a framework to explore and make sense of these experiences, offering the opportunity to cultivate clarity and meaning from the journey.
One of the most helpful therapeutic models for integration work is Internal Family Systems (IFS). IFS recognizes that we are made up of different "parts"—each with its own perspective, emotions, and roles within us. A plant medicine journey might bring these parts to the surface in vivid ways, revealing protective parts that have shielded us from pain or exiled parts that hold our deepest wounds.
For example, you might encounter a part of yourself during the journey that feels like a frightened child or a harsh inner critic. Integration through an IFS lens allows you to engage with these parts with curiosity and compassion, helping them feel seen and understood. This process fosters healing at a deep level, allowing for greater harmony within the internal system.
To effectively integrate a plant medicine experience, it’s essential to approach the process with intention and care. Here are some key elements:
Journaling: Write down what arose during the journey—images, feelings, thoughts, and insights. This can help organize and solidify the experience.
Therapeutic Support: Working with a therapist trained in integration (especially in IFS or somatic approaches) can help unpack challenging material and offer new perspectives.
Somatic Practices: Since plant medicine often works through the body, practices like yoga, breathwork, or body-based meditation can help ground and process the experience.
Community: Sharing your experience with trusted others who are familiar with plant medicine can reduce isolation and bring new insights.
Patience and Self-Compassion: Integration is not a linear process. Give yourself time and space to let the lessons unfold organically.
While the ceremony may be the catalyst for change, integration is where true transformation occurs. It’s a time to embody what the medicine has shown you, turning the insights into tangible shifts in how you live, love, and relate to yourself and the world. Without integration, the wisdom of the experience can fade, leaving you chasing the next journey for answers you already possess.
Plant medicine has the power to help us access profound parts of ourselves. Integration, especially when combined with practices like IFS, ensures that we stay grounded in that wisdom and grow from it—creating lasting change that ripples through all areas of life.